


Lay Your Lover's Hands Upon Me, Let Me Go

by Bluehaven4220



Category: due South
Genre: Multi, Things that should have been said but weren't said, Threesome - F/M/M, Vacation, due South Seekrit Santa Challenge, saying goodbye is difficult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluehaven4220/pseuds/Bluehaven4220
Summary: As it turns out, Benton Fraser and Margaret Thatcher DID go further than a kiss on top of a train in southern Manitoba and again under the stars in King’s Creek, thanks to adrenaline and the possibility of her reassignment hanging over their heads. When she returns to Chicago for a week’s vacation, she seeks Ben out. Ray, as Ben's partner both on and off the job, recognizes that something has to be done about things that were left unsaid. After a few minutes of quick thinking, he formulates an interesting proposal.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dance_across](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_across/gifts).



> All hail my beta mific for the wonderful help and cheerleading on this story <3.

Meg Thatcher walked through the now familiar corridors of the Ottawa airport, heading to Chicago for a long wished-for vacation. In truth, she wasn’t sure what she expected to see once she got there. She was sure much had changed since she’d last been in Chicago, with Turnbull having made a run for public office then promptly getting run over by his campaign bus. Admittedly she’d had a good chuckle when she’d heard. Not that she’d ever wish him harm – he reminded her of a puppy who wanted to be petted on the head and told what a good boy he was.  As much as he annoyed her from time to time (alright, perhaps more than from time to time), she did miss him, and she missed her life in Chicago.

It wasn’t just Turnbull and his antics she missed. Benton Fraser, with all his heroics and polite mannerisms and the trouble he seemed to get into – well, in truth she missed him just as much, if not more. Fraser had been her second in command, and when the possibility of her transfer had come up four years ago, she’d found the possibility of not working with him again almost too difficult to contemplate. She’d even asked if he’d go with her, and he would have, if she’d pulled all the right strings. She’d been halfway to starting that paperwork, but when she’d seen how ecstatic he was to be back in the snow, despite the fact that it was so cold and quiet, she’d known that she couldn’t ask him to follow her. So she’d shredded that transfer document and let him go.

After the case at King’s Creek with a nuclear submarine and the Fathers of Confederation (the same lunatics who'd held them hostage on a train in southern Manitoba two years before) Meg had been certain Ben Fraser would stay in the North. He looked so at home there, even happy. She wasn’t sure if he’d ever actually been happy in Chicago, not really.

Since then, Meg had looked for Fraser's name in the official RCMP updates. She’d go through each newsletter with a fine-toothed comb, and had finally found something. It was a small article, not even two paragraphs, and it was evident he was still working as a liaison with the Chicago Police Department, partnered with Detective Ray Kowalski.

She'd been surprised. If he still held his position at the Consulate, surely he wouldn't have much time to act as a liaison? At least, not as much time as she'd given him. Which raised another question – surely whoever was in charge now wouldn't let him sleep in his office? She wondered where he was living these days. The only reason she’d let him use his office as living quarters was so there'd always be someone in the building to open for business promptly at eight a.m. She had no idea how he’d spent his free time otherwise.

Meg shook off the speculation, tying her hair back out of the way; it had been bothering her throughout the flight. She’d decided she wasn't going to plan every detail of the trip, just return to Chicago and see where the days took her. Perhaps she’d take in a show. But she also wanted to see how her former colleagues were faring, and she supposed, as her plane finally touched down on the runway at O’Hare, that a visit to Lieutenant Harding Welsh at the 27th Precinct was a good place to start.

                                                                                                            ooOoo 

Ray was quickly finding that waking up draped over Ben was his favorite way to surface. Then again, that had been his favorite way to start the day for a very long time. For several years, in fact. Ben was a particularly comfortable pillow, especially after they’d just fucked each other senseless the night before.

Extremely loud, stern knocks early in the morning were absolutely _not_ his favorite thing. Lifting his head, he groaned as Ben shifted underneath him. Ben had always been a light sleeper, and no doubt those knocks had woken him up before Ray'd even attempted consciousness.

“Ray…”

“No,” Ray murmured, tightening his hold on Ben, pulling him close as though he were a stuffed animal or a squishy pillow. “Too comfortable to get up.”

The knocking continued.

“Ray, it’s rude not to answer the door, especially if we’re home. Let me up, please.”

Ray groaned again and rolled back onto his side of the bed. “If they keep knocking like that, they’re gonna get a kick in the head if it’s not life or goddamn death.” 

ooOoo

Throwing on a t-shirt and sweatpants, Ben politely covered his mouth to yawn, and went to answer the door. “I’m sure it’s incredibly important if they're knocking on the door at,” he checked the clock on top of the stove, “seven-thirty in the morning on a Saturday.” He opened it to find Meg Thatcher, his former superior officer.

“Good morning, Inspector,” he said, wide eyed.

“Good morning, Fraser. And please, it’s just Meg now,” she answered, avoiding eye contact and clearing her throat. “I’m sorry to disturb you so early in the morning.”

“Oh, not at all. Please come in.” He moved out of the way and closed the door, ushering her into the kitchen. “Can I get you some coffee? I’ll be starting breakfast in a few minutes.”

“Forgive me for saying so, but it looks like you just got out of bed,” she answered as she set her handbag down on the table and sat, pulling the clasp out of her hair and slipping it in her bag, shaking her hair out.  “But in answer to your question, yes, I’d love some coffee, thank you.”

Suddenly very thankful Ray had programmed the coffee machine to start at seven each morning, he got three mugs out of the cupboard and poured some for himself and Meg. “How do you take yours… Meg?”

“Cream with a little sugar, thank you, Fraser.” She accepted the mug as he brought over the accompaniments she’d asked for, as well as his own mug.

Ben sat down across the table from her. “Please call me Ben,” he answered. “Forgive me, Meg, but I’m quite at a loss as to why you’re here. We haven’t worked together in over four years.”

“I know, nor have we spoken.” Ray wandered in, looking sleep-mussed and confused, bare chested, in cotton pajama pants.  He stared at the two of them, wide-eyed. “Good morning, Detective.”

“Er, yeah, if you say so.” He blinked. “Um… I see you already got coffee. I’m just gonna…” he shot a look at his partner. “Ben, can I speak to you for a second?”

“Yes, Ray,” Ben stirred cream into his own mug and pushed his chair back. “Excuse me a moment.”

“Of course.” she took another sip of coffee and sat back in her chair.

Ben got up and followed Ray back into the bedroom. Neither of them had been expecting Inspector Meg Thatcher in their home so early in the morning, despite the fact that they’d worked out an uneasy truce four years before. Ray had made it very clear he’d never liked the way she’d treated Ben, even if he had been her subordinate. Ben also knew that Ray would have been happy if he’d never spoken to her again, but now here she was in their apartment.

“You know how I feel about her, Ben,” Ray whispered as he closed their bedroom door. “What's she doing here?”

“I have no idea, and that’s precisely why we were sitting together talking.”

“It didn’t look like much of a conversation.”

“Because we just sat down,” Ben said patiently. “As far as I can see, she just wants to talk. I hardly think she would want anything more than that.”

“Something wrong with her phone? After four years she comes all the way down here from wherever she ended up, to have coffee and talk?”

“Ray, I think it’s possible that that’s really all she wants to do. She hasn’t given me any reason to think otherwise.”

“Oh come on, Ben.” Ray rolled his eyes, scowling, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re fooling yourself if you think that’s the only reason she’s here.” Still not content, he poked Ben in the chest once, then crossed his arms again. “After all the years you two worked together, you’re telling me that there’s absolutely no way that woman has shown up here because she was hoping to catch you off guard and maybe, just maybe, you and her might end up having sex?”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “No, I don’t believe that at all,” he said. “So far we’ve only said good morning, which is why we were sitting at the table.” Ben stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Ray. “Where's this coming from? As far as I knew, you two had a reasonably good rapport.”

Ray squeezed him tightly in response. “I don’t hate her, Ben. I just hate the way she treated you, especially as you were her second in command,” he explained, seemingly more resigned to the fact that Meg Thatcher was in the apartment. “Whatever she has to say, I’m sure you’ll be fine. I’m going to go take a shower, then I’ll join you.” Ray kissed him quickly.

“I love you, Ray Kowalski, and nothing’s going to change that,” Ben whispered as Ray slipped into the bathroom.

Sighing, Ben re-emerged from the bedroom, making his way back to the table.

“Apologies, Meg,” he said as he sat back down.

“No trouble at all,” she answered, eyeing him carefully. “I take this to mean then, that you and Detective Kowalski are partners?”

“In what sense?”

“Professional as well as…,” it seemed she wasn’t sure how to phrase it, “…in your private lives.” She took another sip of coffee, maybe to calm herself. Although if she were embarrassed, Ben was having a hard time seeing it. She hadn't been dubbed the Ice Queen for nothing.

“I won't apologize for loving Ray Kowalski.” He leaned forward and folded his arms on the table.

“Nor do I expect you to apologize.” She sat back and chewed her bottom lip for a second. “That being said, if I didn't know you as I do, I might find this a surprise, considering our history.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Ben asked, running a thumb over his eyebrow. “You and I were colleagues, Meg, not lovers. I don’t mean this to be harsh, but there was very little between us besides a crush.”

“Are you forgetting the time I asked you to help me with the adoption process?” she countered. “How could I have asked that of you if I didn’t trust you? Or what happened in King’s Creek?”

“No I haven't forgotten, but I’m sure you know that trust, love, and crushes are all very different things,” Ben answered, trying to keep his voice gentle.

There was the distinct sound of a tube of hair gel falling to the floor.

“What’s this I’m hearing about crushes?” Ray demanded, emerging from the bathroom in a clean t-shirt and sweatpants, making his way to the kitchen to pour his own mug of coffee. “You two got history?”

“Yes, Ray,” Ben answered as he joined them at the table. “I believe you know about the incident on top of a speeding train filled with unconscious Mounties–”

“Yeah, I know about that one after reading all of Vecchio’s files, but…” he looked from Meg Thatcher to Ben and back again, studying her face. “But that’s not the result of a crush, and somehow I don’t think it’s what she means.” Ben felt some trepidation: Ray was a very good judge of facial expressions. “Wait a minute, it went _further_ than a kiss between you.” It wasn’t a question or an accusation, just a statement.

Meg swallowed and Ben felt himself color. “Yes, it did.” They both answered at the same time, stumbling over their words. Ben cleared his throat and continued, glancing at Meg and receiving a nod of unspoken permission. “Although we'd agreed that neither of us would speak about it again.” 

ooOoo

Ray blinked a few times before he found his voice again.

“So, what really happened?” Now Ray was curious, but it sounded like it was exactly what he thought; Thatcher and Ben had hooked up a few times. Not that he particularly wanted to think of his partner in bed with the Ice Queen, but if the feelings were still there between them, he figured he didn’t have many options. The first one that came to mind was that he should leave for the day and let them do whatever they needed to do, whether it was fucking each other to get it out of their systems, or just talking it out. The second option, which he liked a lot better, was to get both of them in bed, because Ray understood that if Ben didn’t get past… whatever this thing with Thatcher was, he’d carry the ‘what ifs’ about it with him forever. If the only way was to get them all in bed together, well, Ray wasn’t stupid. Thatcher was a sexy lady, and if Ben wanted a threesome, Ray wouldn’t exactly find it a hardship. Maybe he could get them to agree.

“Well, uh…” Thatcher seemed flustered at the question – it looked like she wasn’t sure it would be a good idea to answer him. Plus, Ray wasn't sure he really wanted to hear what had happened. It seemed like something private that shouldn't be shared, even if Ray was Ben's partner now. Ben was a pretty private guy, and what had happened between him and Thatcher was long past. She cleared her throat. “Are you sure you want to know?” she asked.

“Nah, not really, but I guess it’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” he said, giving her a hard stare. “At seven-thirty on a Saturday morning. There’s gotta be a reason for knocking on our door.”

Ben bit his lip and put his hands up placatingly. “Hold on, just a second.” He folded his hands on the table. “There shouldn’t be an argument here – I don’t believe any of us really want to fight.”

“Of course not,” Thatcher answered coolly.

“Who’s fighting?” Ray agreed. “I’m just curious about the circumstances that led to you two jumping in bed together. And also why it’s all come up now, more than four years later. It _was_ that long ago, right?”

“Yes it was, just after the submarine, while we were still in King’s Creek,” Thatcher answered. “We both thought it would be the last time we’d see each other, and since we weren't technically working together any longer, there wasn’t anything to lose.”

Ray nodded – that sounded like he didn’t have much cause to worry. But it still didn’t answer the question: what was she doing back in Chicago, here in the home he now shared with Ben? Did Ben still have feelings for her, and vice versa? The way they were looking at each other, he couldn’t quite tell, and that made him uneasy.

Mercifully, the phone rang. Ray left Ben and Thatcher at the table and went to answer it, as it was in the bedroom in case of overnight emergencies. The call was a wrong number, some jerk of a realtor asking if he could come over and view the property. For once, Ray was grateful for the distraction; the few minutes it took to sort out what was going on let him collect his thoughts. He sat on the bed afterward, formulating a plan.

Even if it he didn’t want to see it, it was obvious from Ben and Thatcher’s body language that there were still feelings between them. And that shit could only be ignored for so long before it ended up all twisted and distorted. He had experience with that, having learned a painful lesson from his divorce. While he'd always love Stella, they were no longer _in_ love, and it had taken a long time for him to be able to accept that. Maybe it was the same for the Ice Queen… _Meg_ , he corrected himself… he guessed he should call her Meg.

It seemed to Ray that he had to be the one to make the first move. Neither Meg nor Ben were going to do anything about what was obviously still between them. Nope, the only way for either of them to move on, Ray figured, was if they got it out of their systems. He’d make the offer, and the worst they could do would be to say “no.”

For some reason, it brought up a memory of something Ben had told him, ’cause that was what Ben did when Ray's thoughts got too loud in his own head: he told Ray stories. Anyway, Ben had once told him about a Greek guy: name of Orpheus, who traveled with his companions on a quest for some golden fleece, and helped them get through and make tough decisions. Ben'd said that Orpheus only had one weapon, some harp-thing called a lyre, and he used it to keep everyone going and to get food by charming the fish right out of the ocean, and also to keep the Sirens from wrecking their ship, because the Sirens usually made sailors sail right onto the rocks. Something like that, anyway.  Ray figured this was kind of the same. Not that Meg was a Siren, although he just _bet_ one of the reasons she came back to Chicago was to try and hop back into bed with Ben. Well, he could be like old Orpheus, get between Ben and Meg's siren call and hope that worked, or he could make the tough decision and help them both get it out of their systems. How else were they all gonna be able to move on?

When he emerged from the bedroom once again, it was obvious something had changed between the two of them. They weren’t actually touching, just whispering to each other. They looked like they might have been discussing the same thing Ray'd been thinking. At least, that’s what he _hoped_ they were doing, 'cause it'd be a lot less awkward.

Ray cleared his throat to catch their attention. They jumped, startled at the sudden noise. “So, I had an idea,” he began. Might as well get it over with. “And if we all agree, then that’s the end of it and we all come away happy. Ben and I'll still be lovers, and maybe all of us can be friends.” He stood up. "Look, let's go in the living room to talk." Ben and Meg joined him there, each taking one of the armchairs. An uncomfortable silence settled between them and Ray swallowed, his mouth dry.

“You have an idea, Ray?” Ben coaxed.

Ray nodded. “Yeah, even if you think it’s a bit weird. You’re probably gonna reject it outright, but I think I gotta try.”

Ben’s brows knitted. “What’s your thinking?”

Ray took a breath and leaned forward. “All three of us, together, in one bed.”

Ben nodded, as though mulling it over. Meg seemed like she was trying hard not to look scandalized.

Ray had a moment of panic. Oh shit, he’d just fucked it up completely. “I mean, only if you want to,” he stammered. “But it’s pretty obvious to me that there’s still something goin' on between you two, and in order for it to not be such a big elephant in the room, maybe we should all just… get it out of our systems.”  

Meg leaned forward in response. “In all honesty, Detective…”

“Ray.”

“Ray,” she nodded. “I’m not quite sure that what you’re offering is a good idea.” She looked down for a second, then focused her attention back on him. “To be frank, I thought you didn’t like me.”

“Yeah, it might not be a good idea, I know that,” he countered. “And to be clear, I don’t _not_ like you, I just don’t like the way you treated Ben when you two worked together. There’s a difference.” He looked at them both. “But, even so, I can see there’s still something between you and Ben, and I think there has been for a long time. So what I’m offering is all three of us, together, closing a chapter in our lives so we can move on.”

Ben continued to stare at him, as though silently giving him a chance to take it back. It was too damn late though. It’d been too late as soon as the words had come out of his stupid mouth.

“If you’re sure, Ray,” Ben finally said, breaking the tense silence. “If you’re absolutely sure, then we have to discuss it. Work out boundaries, what we're all willing and not willing to do. However, I will only participate if we all agree.”

Meg shook her head. “I must be out of my mind,” she whispered to herself. She seemed to gather her courage. “However, if I’m out of my mind, what do we have to lose?”

“Hopefully nothing, just all of us having a good time.” Perhaps Ray hadn’t been quite such a fool suggesting it. “So we're gonna do this?”

“I think so,” Meg answered. “But, if we want to do it properly, then as Ben said, we need to work out our boundaries.” She was looking a bit less spooked. “Can I tell you what I’d like, gentlemen?”

Ben nodded. “Of course.”

“I’d like a little romance to start it off,” Meg said. “All three of us having a quiet dinner together here, and then whatever happens, happens.”

“Truth be told, I think I’d like the same thing,” Ben answered. “Just to set the mood.”

“You know we ain't gonna be able to plan everything,” Ray said. “But I like that idea. It don’t need to be just wham bam thank you… er, ma'am. And y'know, I kind of like that part. Romance, and all that.”

Meg smiled. It was obvious that she hadn’t expected to hear something like that from him, but hey, Ray could be a romantic if he put his mind to it.

“Would tomorrow night be suitable?” Ben asked. “Ray and I have both booked vacation days, and I’m assuming you have as well, Meg?”

“Yes, I have,” she nodded, leaning back and crossing her legs. Long, smooth legs that seemed to go on forever. “I’m here for a week.”

A week. Good. Now they didn’t have to worry about getting up early the day after, especially if they were going through with this plan. Granted, this had always been a fantasy of Ray’s, but he’d never dared to say anything about it until now, not even to Ben. He was just thankful that the others seemed excited about it as well.

But maybe excited wasn’t the word for it, not yet. After all, it was a pretty big thing to consider and get your head around. Interested, maybe?

“I’d also like to make a request.” Ben could be so formal if something made him even the slightest bit uncomfortable, but Ray knew the more they talked about it, the more that nervousness would disappear. “If we're all wanting a bit of romance, perhaps Ray and I could be in dress shirts and pants, and Meg, would you object to wearing a dress?”

“Not at all,” she answered. “As you said, semi-formal clothing does have its appeal, and its place. Although, I must admit, when I knocked on your door I never imagined I’d be sitting with the two of you while you were both wearing sweatpants.”

It wasn't much of a joke but they laughed anyway, and the tension in the room eased.

“If we’re going to be having dinner, do we want take out or to cook?” Ray asked. “Ben's real good at that. I’m okay, though my skill level's more 'keep self alive', and because of that I got a strong relationship with our pizza delivery guy.”

“I don’t mind cooking.” Ben nodded.

“I’d like that,” Meg said, her shoulders not as tense. “Just not anything too heavy. I don’t like having sex on a full stomach.”

“Lady knows what she likes.” Ray smiled. “Now that's out of the way, what about our boundaries?”

The conversation went on for quite a while, previous thoughts of more coffee and breakfast forgotten. It took well over an hour, but by the time they’d finished talking, they’d agreed to meet at six o’clock the next evening, with water and non-alcoholic wine to drink with dinner as they wanted to be clear-headed. They couldn’t plan everything, but it was a start.

ooOoo

Six o’clock on Sunday came around too early. Ben had already changed and showered after having an afternoon nap which, made sense especially if they weren’t going to be getting a lot of sleep that night, but Ray'd had too much nervous energy. He’d gone to the gym after breakfast and pounded on the heavy bag until he could barely lift his arms. He’d come home in time for lunch, but had been so tired he fell asleep on the couch as soon as he got in the door. He’d woken to Ben changing the sheets and making sure they had everything they needed in the bedroom.

Once Ray was up, he barely had time to shower himself, while Ben started the dinner prep. Ben was looking great in a dark blue button down shirt and comfortable dress pants, and Ray had to resist the urge to turn off the stove and start without Meg. Ray himself had a dark green collared shirt, and all in all, he thought they both looked damn good. Nervous, too, but he guessed nerves were to be expected.

A knock at the door as he finished setting the table signaled Meg’s arrival. Ray opened the door to see her wrapped in her coat against the chilly night air, purse on one arm and a gift bag most likely containing the wine in the other. He moved out of the way and let her in, slid the chain across to lock the door, and silently took her coat.

Meg put her handbag and the bottle of wine down on the floor and shrugged out of her coat to reveal a simple strapless black dress with a zipper down the back, bare legs, strappy heels and a fresh pedicure to match her fingernails. As Ray hung her coat up in the front hall closet, he also noticed she was wearing long, dangling earrings and that her hair was down and swept to the side, just enough to expose her neck.

He’d never seen her look so beautiful.

“You look gorgeous,” he whispered in her ear as he slid an arm around her waist and bent down to pick up the bag containing the wine. “Since I can tell dinner's almost ready, maybe we should head for the kitchen and surprise Ben.”  He led her there and set the wine on the counter.

At the mention of his name, Ben switched the stove off and turned around. Ray saw his eyes widen.

“You look positively radiant, Meg.” He set the spatula down on the counter by the stove and stepped forward, kissing her cheek. “I must say, I’m almost tempted to say we should forget about dinner.”

“Oh now, you two promised me romance.” She smiled, her mouth red with lipstick. “And thank you – you both look very handsome.” She swallowed, as though her throat was dry. “Do you need me to help with anything?”

Ben smiled in return. “You could pour the wine if you like.” He turned to open the cupboard, looking for a serving bowl. “Are you alright with grilled chicken and salad for dinner?”

“That sounds delightful.” She took the wine from Ray to the table, pouring out equal measures into three wine glasses. “It smells wonderful, too.”

“Thank you, I do try.” Ben tossed the salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and brought it out to the table, followed closely by Ray with the serving tray holding the chicken. They sat down together, passing the bread basket and other dishes around the table, enjoying the ambiance they’d all worked to create. Suddenly this plan didn’t seem as daunting, and for that, Ray was grateful.

Also, thank God Ben was the type of cook who cleaned as he went along. Once they’d finished, all that was left to wash up were their plates and cutlery, and the serving plates. Together, it only took a few minutes. If they were going to go through with this, there was no point delaying it.

“Excuse me while I go freshen up, gentlemen,” Meg said. She put the last of the cutlery back in its drawer and made her way to the bathroom, picking up her purse along the way.

That didn’t seem like a bad idea. Thankfully, their apartment had a second bedroom and bathroom for guests. It was smaller, but there was enough room for them to do what they needed as Meg prepared herself. Unsure of what to do next, they met up back in the living room.

Ray realized that he had to take the lead again. This entire thing had been his idea, and if he didn't make a move they’d all be standing here awkwardly the entire night.

He took a step toward Meg, cupped her cheek, and kissed her. She tasted of mint toothpaste and mouthwash. He felt her knees buckle a little and caught her around the waist to keep her steady. Once he backed away, he turned to Ben and saw hunger in his eyes. Ben wanted them both badly, and it turned Ray on like crazy to see it.

He picked Meg up and carried her to the bedroom, Ben following behind, practically slamming the door closed behind them in his haste.

 ooOoo

Later, tangled in sheets and limbs, the three of them lay together, breathless and satisfied.

“There were more logistics involved than I'd realized,” Ben said thoughtfully, one arm behind his head as Meg lay on top of him. Ray was tucked into his other side, his head close to Ben’s shoulder.

“True, but once we were all comfortable with the idea of touching each other, it went quite smoothly, I thought.” Meg got comfortable against Ben’s chest. “Thank you both – not that I have anything to compare with, since I left Chicago.”

Ray was too tired and buzzed with endorphins to care that Meg was lying where he usually did. He groaned. “Four years and no sex? Jeez, what’d you do instead?”

“Vibrators and dildos are marvelous inventions.”

Ray snorted into Ben's shoulder. He guessed really hot and sweaty sex had lowered her inhibitions as well; she’d never have told them anything like that before.

Meg sighed. “Plus there wasn’t much time, what with traveling and work.”

“Understandable,” Ben murmured, running a hand down Meg’s back and pulling Ray in closer. “Personal needs are often neglected for duty.”

“And you'd know all about _that_.” Ray raised himself up on his elbow, leaning in to kiss Ben. “It took a while for me to convince you that duty don’t _always_ come first.” Almost two years, if Ray remembered right. “Anyone care if I go to sleep?”

“I think we might all do that. You gentlemen have quite worn me out.” Meg smiled impishly, rolled off of Ben and maneuvered herself in between the two of them. Settling down, she pulled up the blanket, covering them all. It was a tight fit, but for one night, it'd do.

As he drifted into sleep, Ray thought that when they woke, Meg would be on her way – after breakfast of course, they weren’t complete bastards – and no regrets between them.

 ooOoo

Waking up alone the next morning was kind of weird, but Ray figured both Ben and Meg were Mounties – they couldn’t sleep in even if he wrapped them in blankets like burritos and sat on them. Even a night of bone-melting sex wasn't enough to get them to stay in bed past eight in the morning.

Ray rolled over and forced himself out of bed. Pulling on sweatpants, he went out to the living room to find Ben and Meg sitting together wrapped in robes, quietly chatting, mugs of coffee in their hands. It was nice to know none of them felt like they had to get dressed right away.

“Good morning,” Ray mumbled, walking over to Ben and bending down, kissing him thoroughly. When he looked up afterward, Meg crooked her finger in a “come here” motion. Smirking, he obliged, kissing her as well. “Any coffee or breakfast left for me?”

“Coffee, yes. Haven’t started on breakfast yet.” Ben got up and went into the kitchen, pouring Ray a mug and rummaging in the cupboard. He returned, mug in one hand and a brightly colored packet in the other. “And I made sure to grab M&Ms yesterday as well.”

“Oh man, I love you.” Ray set his mug down on the coffee table and carefully counted seven candies into the rich liquid, then stirred it. He took a gulp and glanced over the rim at Meg. “So, Meg, any plans today?”

“Not yet.” She eyed him, leaning back against the couch and downing the last of her coffee. “Kicking me out, Ray?”

“Nah,” Ray said easily as Ben sat back down. “I was just curious. I mean, what can you see in Chicago that you haven't already seen? You lived here nearly three years.”

“And I've been gone for the last four,” she reminded him. “Really, the amount of time I got to spend outside the Consulate was negligible. There often wasn't time to get a full night’s sleep, never mind for anything else.”

Ben and Ray looked at each other, evidently thinking the same thing.

Meg narrowed her eyes. “What’s that look?”

“What look?” Ray put on his best “who, me?” expression. “I was just thinking. You, me, Ben – after breakfast we take a tour of the city. Whaddaya think?”

Meg smiled, but sadly. “It’s a very nice offer, Ray, but I think we should stick to our original agreement.” She stood and tightened the belt on her robe. “We agreed that we’d have dinner and see where it took us, and in this case it was a night of fantastic sex. Let’s not complicate matters any further.”

Ray blinked. Well _that'd_ thrown him for a loop.

“Meg…” Ben rose and took a step toward her.

“Ben, please.” She shook her head. “Anything more and we’re in danger of overstepping boundaries, and we all swore we wouldn’t let that happen.” It sounded as though she was trying not to cry. “Just… just let me be for a few minutes, please? I think I only now realized that I’ve well and truly lost you, even if you were never mine to lose. Give me a minute to process that.”

Ben nodded, seeming to understand. They watched, frozen in place, as Meg disappeared into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

“What was _that_ about?” Ray asked, although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

“Well, as she said.” Ben went into the kitchen, setting a pan on the stove to start breakfast. “She needs some space.”

Ray followed him. “Yeah, but what did she mean, that you were never hers to lose?”

“Well, I can’t speak for her, but I think she’s realized that for me, it’s always been you, Ray.” Ben cracked a few eggs into a bowl.

“It has?” Ray knew that, of course, but when they’d just invited someone else into their bed, he guessed he needed a bit of reassurance.

“Yes, it has. From the first moment I met you,” Ben said, setting a pepper on the cutting board and chopping off the top, removing the seeds. “I knew it might be hard for her after last night, and all we can do is respect her wishes. If she wants to just leave, then it’s best we let her do so. After all, last night wasn’t only to get everything 'out of our systems' as we originally thought. It was also about saying goodbye.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Ray opened the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk and a few tomatoes, setting them on the counter. “Hope it wasn’t something I said.”

“No, it wasn’t. And Ben's absolutely right,” came a voice from behind them. They turned to see Meg had changed back into her dress and was running a hand through her hair, wet from a quick shower. “You two gave me something beautiful last night, and I'll always be thankful, but I really must be going.”

“If you’re sure, Meg.” Ben said. He washed his hands, then accompanied her to the front door, Ray following.  Ben fetched her coat from the hall closet and helped her into it. “Are you sure you don't need a ride back to your hotel?”

She shook her head. “That’s very kind, but no, thank you. It’s not that far. Besides, the walk will do me good.”

Ben nodded, and they took turns hugging her goodbye. “Take care of yourself, y'hear?” Ray said as he kissed her cheek one last time.

“I will,” she said, holding back tears. “Call me if you two are ever in Ottawa.”

“Of course.” They watched her walk down the hall toward the stairwell.

Once she was out of sight, Ben closed the front door, looking worried. “Do you think she’ll be alright?”

“Sure she will, she’s Meg Thatcher.” Ray pulled Ben into a tight hug. “But what about you? Are _you_ going to be alright?”

“As long as I have you, yes.”

Ray smiled. Yeah, as long as they had each other, they’d be fine.


End file.
